Catching the Pranic Waves

Someone mentioned on the bus the other day how tanned I was looking. I explained that I hadn’t been away to ‘Foreign Parts’ like many folks do round here in the summer, but I had just been pottering about in the yard, tending to the Tomato’s, Courgettes, and Cucumbers and sitting reading and playing guitar and generally ‘catching some Pranic waves’ whenever I could. For many days over the summer it has felt as if I was away on holiday, but without the hassle, travel chaos, and expense. (Prana, by the way, is Sanskrit for life-force or cosmic energy)

Carl G. Jung the great Esoteric Psychologist wrote about how important it is to have the use of one’s own plot of land, 'so that our instincts can come alive once more'. I’ve kind of taken over the back yard from my sister, who I share the house with. We’ve got a sort of uneasy territorial agreement that she manages the front garden while I take care of the back. One of my oldest pals, the Reverend Bob came and built me a polytunnel in spring that I call ‘the Gween Womb’. I didn’t have much time to get some plants in so I simply bought and cadged what I could, not really knowing what I’d got. So it’s been quite a journey of discovery finding out what I’m actually growing. I’ve also created a fire pit area and put a bit of wicker fence up to make it seem a bit more private, nevertheless I don’t think I’ll be entering my design for the next Chelsea Flower Show just yet. (see pic).

I’ve not long finished David Icke’s latest book – ‘The Phantom Self’ which was an interesting read if you don’t mind wading through the seemingly endless accounts of the dastardly dark deeds of the Elite Architects of Control. He seems to be making more these days of the Gnostic teachings concerning the ‘Archons’, an ancient Greek term that simply means ‘Rulers’ but was used by the early Gnostic Christians to represent the ‘Dark Forces’ controlling the ‘World Empire’. Sadly it’s only in the last few pages of the book that we are offered some hope of a solution to the ‘Juggernaut of Tyranny’ waged by the Archontic forces. The title of the book implies that we are not the imaginary ego or Phantom Self that we think we are and that we are in fact Infinite Eternal Awareness rather than our prescribed roles, religions, and characters that we strut about acting out on this grand podium of Life. While I’m not sure how far I go with David on his analysis of the problems facing the world as he sees it, what matters to me is that he’s also busy promoting the ancient esoteric solution that the Anointed Jesus taught along with all the great sages from every tradition - the message that: ‘If we want a world of kindness we need to be kind. If we want a world of peace we need to be peaceful. If we want a world of love we need to be loving’.

Talking of which, I forgot to mention that while in Glastonbury at the time of the winter solstice, I found what turned out to be a second-hand paperback copy of the ‘Holy Grail’- a.k.a. 'A Course in Miracles' - at the local flea market in the town hall. I was told by my university mentor back in the day, Prof. Balbinder Singh Sohal, in 2000 that it was an interesting read, and that as a Christian I ought to have a look. It took me 15 years to get round to it but what a fortuitous read it has turned out to be. The book purports to be the channelled message from an anonymous non-physical intelligence who claims to be ‘one’ with Infinite Christ Consciousness. It is not an easy book to read, that varies in power and intensity. It uses non- inclusive old fashioned Christian language - the female pronoun is never used - I’m sure this has and will put off many modern readers of the text. But for some reason I have stuck with it and it is slowly revealing its treasures to me mightily. The way I have got into the course is by only focusing on what has meaning to me at the time and by copying those bits down in my journal. By writing down only those parts that make sense to me and shelfing the rest, I have the chance to meditate more deeply only on those bits that are making sense. Here’s a random example of one of the more easily understood parts:

‘To be alone is to be separated from infinity, but how can this be if infinity has no end? No one can be beyond the limitless, because what has no limits must be everywhere. There are no beginnings and no endings in God, whose universe is Himself. Can you exclude yourself from the Universe or from God who is the Universe? I and my Father are one with you, for you are part of us. Do you really believe that part of God can be missing or lost to Him?’ (A.C.I.M. p180 - paperback version).

Passages like this stand out from other parts that are very hard to penetrate. However the longer you stick to the course the more it reveals to you. The guy who sold it to me for £5 said he had been studying the Course every day for 18 years, (he probably had a posh copy back at home). I’m just beginning to understand why he has studied it for so long, and it looks like I may be studying it for the rest of my lifetime the way things are going.

Finally, the other book that I keep by my meditation table at the moment, is the 14th century book on apophatic prayer known as ‘The Cloud of Unknowing’. Written by another anonymous intelligence - that from the language he uses, was probably a Carthusian monk that came from the East Midlands of England, my own neck of the woods. I feel as if he is probably as close as I'm going to be able to get to an indigenous ancestral meditation teacher. To find out more on what this book is about you can go to the facebook page I’ve set up at- https://www.facebook.com/agnosticcloud/ Please ‘like’ the page if you decide to take a look, it helps to get the page about on the net. Cheers.

The Rubric of the Shamanesque

Rubric = Custom, Role/Function or practice- 'Spiritual Praxis').

Shamanesque = A word describing that which is ‘Shaman like’ or describing a person who is acting in the manner of an indigenous Shaman.

The roles of Prophet, Priest, and Shaman are specialised vocations and while many may desire to be ‘called’ to such roles, only a few are actually recognised by their community as being ‘chosen’ by Sacred Spirit to perform this work:

‘For many are called but few are chosen.’ – Lord Jesus.

The parable that this saying comes from,speaks of a wedding guest that isn’t wearing suitable clothing for the occasion and it teaches us, among other things, not to claim to be something or someone that we are not.

Though we may have to give up the notion of Priesthood or Shamanism as a career choice, this does not mean that we have to give up incorporating aspects of the ‘Shamanesque’ into our everyday personal spiritual practice.

Over the course of the next few post I'm going to be looking at some of the Shamanesque practices that can enrich your life. They are not for everyone and may only be suitable for people at certain times in their lives when the circumstances call for it, for example during periods of physical sickness or a mental breakdown, on retirement and during times of unemployment or under-employment whatever the cause.

Praxis

However, having said that, I have to begin this series of posts by saying that developing some kind of a personal spiritual practice, is something that we should all make time for, however hectic the pace of our lives might be, (saying you have no time is not a valid excuse - you can make time if you choose to). Spiritual praxis is the main antidote to the toxicity of being lost in the consensus trace- the media fuelled corporate hamster wheel that most of us spin on day after day. It is a main part of the process of moving from states of fear and hatred towards the consciousness of compassion and loving kindness.

The mainspring of any spiritual praxis has to be meditation, mindfulness, and prayer. Meditation prepares the soil from which the deep roots of a genuine spirituality grows.

How To Meditate

There are many methods of meditating, that have emerged from all the great religious traditions of the world. The method described here has its roots in the Coptic 'Abbas' and 'Ammas', (fathers and mothers) that took to dwelling in the deserts of the Middle East in the first few centuries of the common era. It is quite likely that they were influenced by Buddhist and Hindu monks that travelled the silk roads. The similarity to 'Transcendental Meditation' of the method described here would suggest so, and there is clear evidence of Buddhist monks being in in Alexandria at this time.

Sit down. Sit still with your back straight. Close your eyes lightly. Then interiorly, silently begin to recite a single word – a prayer word or mantra. The World Community for Christian Meditation (WCCM) recommend the ancient Christian Aramaic prayer-word "Maranatha" that means 'Come Lord Jesus/ the Lord is here'. This saying was commonly spoken among early Christians, and it is thought that Aramaic was the language that Jesus spoke.

Say it as four equal syllables. Breathe normally and give your full attention to the word as you say it, silently, gently, faithfully and - above all - simply. Many people like to say the prayer word along with their normal breathing rhythm – so breath in with ‘Ma’/ out with- ‘Ra’/ In with ‘Na’/out with ‘Tha’ or ‘Ta’.

The essence of meditation is simplicity. Stay with the same word during the whole meditation and in each meditation day to day. Don't visualise but listen to the word, as you say it. Let go of all thoughts (even good thoughts), images and other words. Don’t fight your distractions: let them go by saying your word faithfully, gently and attentively and returning to it as soon as you realise you have stopped saying or it or when your attention wanders.

It is important to realise that meditation is not about emptying your mind or stopping thinking. You can no more do this that stop clouds blowing by holding up your hand. The art of meditation is the rocking back and forth from being lost in thought to focusing on your word faithfully throughout your time in meditation.

Meditate twice a day, morning and evening, for between 20 and 30 minutes. This is the ideal you should be aiming for but any time spend in meditation, however short is never wasted. It may take a time to develop this discipline and the support of a tradition and community is always helpful.

Turbo Shoes and Inter- Faith Dialogue.

Some thoughts on the up coming 'Exploring and engaging with new spiritualties day' in Mansfield 10/10/15
I think it would be good if we all learned to wear our labels a bit more inconspicuously – Back in the 1980’s I had some shoes with ‘Turbo’ written on them. They didn’t make me run any faster, and I wouldn’t be seen dead in them now! I come from an Anglican and Pagan background and I recognise that the Anglican tradition has deep Pagan DNA running right through it like a stick of rock from ‘Skegvegas’. It’s all in there, but that's only a small part of who I am and what my life as a whole has been about.
I think we would do well to be more aware of the exclusivist tendencies in all religions and cultures. In my own background I recognise two examples of this: What I call ‘The Christian Taliban’ and the ‘Constantinian Imperial Death Cult’. In both cases unconditional ‘Agape’ love is the antidote to this kind of toxic religion.
According to American Episcopalian Bishop John Shelby Spong, ‘Agape Love calls us out of tribal fear’. He also said: ‘we move beyond ourselves towards the Ground of Being, not a person, but the source of all personhood, in whom we live and move and have our being’ (Acts 17:28). This is the theological position of ‘Panentheism’ or ‘All in God’.
According to another Episcopalian priest Matthew Fox, ‘People of all religions ‘can recognise 4 things’ (I’m not saying that all their adherents do by the way) -
1) The Earth is Sacred.
2) The Earth is in trouble – (signs of ‘Global Weirding’ everywhere.)
3) We humans are greatly responsible for the latter.
4) We can with imagination, work and strength do something positive to try and change that.
As for the so called ‘New Age’ – there is a deep New Age that transcends the ‘market place, but there is also the: ”New Age, New Wage, taking care of your ‘a-Cash-ic’ records, over the counter culture”, that is great for luring consumers in and peaking their interest, but there is a deeper spirituality happening, a genuine new awareness taking place and I see it in my own church too. Maybe it’s something to do with the 2012 shift.. as we say, ‘shift happens’.
I think when we see ourselves moving from Ego-centric to Soul-centric we are on the way, this is for me the ‘one way’ that Jesus talked about, not a slavish adherence to a fearful tribal belief in ‘hell fire and damnation if you don’t believe and do as you’re told’, religion. It’s about what Jung called ‘Individuation’, not ‘following Christ’ but becoming a ‘Christ’, a unique child of the Source and Ground of our being

Chill with the Still

I first became interested in meditation way back in the 1970’s. I was a newly qualified Mental Health worker (RMN) and I’d just landed a plumb job in a pioneering mental health unit in Derby. My first task was to develop a meditation/relaxation program with the aim of helping people become less reliant on tranquilisers and anti-depressants and more able to cope using natural cognitive methods. This was pioneering work back in the day and we found much resistance from Psychiatrists who seemed more intent on pushing drugs that tended to mask the problems rather than solve them. Arguably, these days we have a more enlightened approach to mental health care, and although resources are even scarcer than ever in the NHS, cognitive therapy and mindfulness meditation are now commonplace treatments as they are cheap to administer and effective for many people suffering from anxiety and depression. I also began to regularly meditate at this time using Hindu and Buddhist methods and I found them to be very helpful both for my own personal health and wellbeing but also in my work as a therapist. I have continued to meditate on a daily basis since that time. However in the 1990’s I came across a Christian form of meditation that was very much like the Eastern methods I had been using, but that was firmly grounded in the Christian monastic tradition, and coming from a Christian background I naturally warmed to this way of meditating.
After being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year, the doctor told me the condition could possibly be helped by a course of cognitive therapy and mindfulness meditation. As I was already well versed in both therapies, it was very much a case of ‘physician heal thyself’ (Luke 4:23) and I began to ‘set to’ by attending a couple of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy courses and deepening further my lifelong interest in meditation.
The nearest meditation group I knew of was down at the Buddhist Centre in Nottingham They hold a twice weekly lunchtime ‘drop in’ session for people of all faiths and none. The groups they run are really good but it was a long way for me to travel and they drive a different type of vehicle from my own. I started looking for a Christian meditation group in the local area and thanks to Susie Booth from St Edmunds I was introduced to a group based at St Marks in Mansfield who were using mainly Ignatian methods of prayer and meditation in the ‘Kataphatic’ tradition rather than the ‘Apophatic’ method I was used to.
Apophatic, Kataphatic? - these are strange and unfamiliar terms to many Christians but to put it simply, Kataphatic meditation uses thoughts, images and guided scenarios, and Apophatic meditation transcends our thoughts and seeks a direct experience of God. Most Christians are comfortable with the former but find the later much more challenging, unfamiliar, and even scary. On finding no group in this area that was practicing Apophatic meditation I decided to start one of my own! After all I was a qualified mental health worker, with a first class honours degree in religion and healing arts, and with 40 years’ experience as a meditator, I reckoned I had enough of a track record, or so I thought. I ought to have realised that when it comes to meditation we are all perpetual beginners and we have to seek afresh the divine presence every day, (using what the Zen Buddhists call, ‘a beginners mind’). Also I learned quite quickly that this type of meditation is much more familiar to the ‘general’ public than it is to the ‘general’ Christian, particularly up in this part of the world!
Apophatic meditation of all styles is particularly effective in calming down the thoughts that arise involuntarily in the mind, what meditators often describe as ‘the monkey mind’. These thoughts are mainly self-referential ego related thoughts such as – ‘I’ve got to remember to do so and so’, ‘I’ve got to make sure I don’t forget that’, ‘they must think I’m mad, or that I was born yesterday’, what a fool I’ve been’, I shouldn’t have said that’ etc.- They can often be much worse, for example when we criticise and judge others in order to make ourselves feel better and more superior, (the ‘he/she/they/them’ variety). Apophatic meditation, cognitive therapy and mindfulness have proved to be very effective in helping those with low self-regard, anxiety and depression, alcoholism and drug addiction, who will often go to almost any length to escape their destructive self- critical and negative thoughts.
However, in the past 50 years or so many hundreds of thousands of Christians throughout the world have discovered the benefits of apophatic meditation that has been a central part of the monastic traditions since at least the 3rd century CE. They value it for both the physical and psychological benefits, but even more importantly, to develop a deeper experience and awareness of the presence of God. Groups like the ‘World Community for Christian Meditation’, and the Trappist led ‘Centering Prayer Movement’ continue to grow at a phenomenal rate, and authors from these groups like Laurence Freeman, and Cynthia Bourgeault, sell books on Christian meditation in their ‘shed loads’- (search online any of these tags to find out more).
Earlier this year I started holding a regular meditation group at the Park Centre here in Mansfield Woodhouse where I live.. I began by offering a course on ‘The Cloud of Unknowing’, a 14th century book on meditation written by an anonymous indigenous monk from the East Midlands of England. This ancient manual on apophatic prayer has been very influential on developing my own style of meditation and so I thought it might be a good place to start. As the group has progressed however, it has evolved into more of a support group for those who have already had a taste of meditation, often via the NHS/College cognitive mindfulness course that they run, and also from encounters with other spiritual traditions.
I am planning to run another lot weekly support style groups again, starting in the autumn. These will focus primarily on encouraging people in their meditation and offering support rather than focusing on specific methods. These open, inclusive, multi-faith sessions are free/gratis and open to all. Meanwhile just remember, ‘If you need to chill, come and be still!’
A quick start guide to meditating
• Sit comfortably and close your eyes
• Mentally scan your body for any tension, (esp. face and shoulders).
• Using the default word ‘one’ begin to say it silently and slowly in your mind. (You can choose your own personal word that is sacred to you, or that evokes a sense of love, peace, or calmness later on*)
• Whenever distractions appear (thoughts, aches and pains, noises etc.) allow them to simply fall away, and gently return to silently saying your word without any strain or tension.
• This is the ‘deal’ - 10 000 times you may be distracted = 10 001 opportunities to return to saying your word. It’s that simple but it’s not easy! But even if you ‘zone out’ for a long time you have not failed because your intention, or will, has been to honour ‘the deal’. You are still meditating – so no guilt or feelings of failure that you are doing it wrong, this only adds to the noise of the distractions.
• After 15 or 20 minutes (or longer) gradually stop saying your word and just sit for a while before you stretch and open your eyes.
*Some suggestions – “Abba” (‘Father’, also mark of respect for an older man or teacher- Aramaic) -“Amma” (‘mother’, also mark of respect for older woman or teacher - Aramaic) - ‘Bless-ed’, (said as two syllables) - “Amen”, (meaning ‘so be it’ or ‘let it be’- pronounced ah-men) – “Shanti” (Hindu word for ‘tranquillity’) –“Santi” (Buddhist word for ‘tranquillity’) – “Shalom” (Hebrew greeting meaning ‘peace’) – “Salaam” (Muslim greeting meaning ‘peace’)- “Seetal” (Sikh word meaning ‘peaceful, calm, contented’

Ye Olde Forde Anglican *

I’ve been musing a lot about the olde Forde Anglican vehicle that I use to get around and whether or not it ought to be allowed to quietly decay and its framework put to some other use, maybe as a Community Centre, Mosque, Gurdwara, Museum, or Music and Arts venue.

The thing is that my olde Forde Anglican banger seems like a perfectly good - yay magnificent - vehicle to take me forward in my own personal spiritual growth, and although many of my neighbours have swapped their old Jalopy’s in for a New Age, Evangelical, Mega Church, deluxe model, I think there is a lot of life still left in the cranky old motor yet.

These old vehicles were built to last, and although most Anglicans don’t realise the full depth and breadth of these ancient means of transportation, the quality still shines through for those who take time to examine the weathered log book and take a look close look underneath at the robust chassis.

Not only do we have a fine example of an authentic apostolic mainstream Christian vehicle, (complete with its own Constantinian Imperial death cult interior). It also has a secret esoteric Gnostic glove compartment and it sports some of the finest European Pagan folk traditional body work still to be found in the western world.

As far as I’m concerned all it needs is a bit of a tinker and tweak from a qualified Quantum Mechanic and a dab or two of ‘Global Wisdom, and Inter-Faith Praxis, Fibreglass filler’, and it can soon be back on the road, chugging along magnificently, even better than new.

The trouble is do we really know what a rich treasure we have? And will old crates like these be allowed to continue to rot and decay in our towns and villages because we don’t have the vision to see what a beautiful mode of transport they can still turn out to be? If only we could get rid of our jaundiced view of what they once were, and see the vast potential they still have to provide a usefully practical and reliant run-around, well able to transport our spiritually hungry children around. This is of course providing we can first make the effort to treat them to a huge dose of tender loving care; wash them down thoroughly with a few buckets of deep empathy; and then carefully buff them up with a huge amount of heart felt tolerance and ‘deep shine’ understanding. And I'm not just talking about the Children!

So, anyone up for a bit of old vehicle restoration?

* for those born after 1984 the title of this blog is a parody of the name of an old auto called 'the Ford Anglia'.

A Cold Bedroom Estate

The residents of Park Hall, Mansfield Woodhouse (where I live) have lost the appeal by Barratts Builders to build a bedroom estate at the back of us. I was so disappointed I put pen to paper and wrote this song (to the tune of 'when a knight won his spurs in the stories of old').

They’re building a city at the back of our yard,
Well ain’t it a pity, life’s gonna be hard,
For the Hedgehog and Bats and the Buzzard and Fowl,
They’re building a city so, to hell with the Owl.
A Suburban city is this what we dream,
As we all wait in line for the Planner Man’s scheme?
Dying to turn into poor mortgage slaves?
At four percent interest till we rot in our graves.
. There once was a time when the rent it was fair,
And we all had a house from the Council to share,
Till along came the bullies and Barrister men,
The Corporate Cannibals have done it again.
You can call me a ‘Nimby’- ‘Not in My Back Yard,’
But what’s wrong with that when we’re making life hard,
For the Badgers and Field Mice and old ancient trees,
Providing a home for the birds and the Bees.
The Town Centre is empty, the shops boarded up,
The Buskers and Beggars gone off with their cups,
To the Big shopping Malls, built out on the edge,
Where there’s much richer pickings for those on the beg
So here’s to the queues at the junctions and lights,
And frustrated drivers and more road rage fights,
The old and disabled can ne’er cross the road,
And that’s not to mention the Frog and the Toad.
They’re calling it ‘Netherton’ up on the gate,
To my mind it's just a cold Bedroom Estate,’
And here come the diggers, and here come the trucks,
They’re in it for profit so who gives a Fox!
They're in it for profit so who gives a Fox!

Jim

I often think what would happen if Jesus walked into our church on a Sunday evening and sat at the back. This time round he’s a homeless addict and drinker called ‘Jim’ (Jesus in me). He has mild hyperthermia, he’s strung out, and hungry, with no family to speak of, and he doesn’t really know anyone in these parts… and what’s more, he smells horrible!

What would I say to Jim if he came and sat next to me? How do I imagine he would react when he begins to get his bearings and realise that all the pomp and drama, and all the choruses and hymns we were singing, were actually all about him? Would he become even more paranoid, or just bemused by the way he has become such a legend in his own lunchtime, such a huge legend in fact, that the lady at the front, in the robes and dog collar, is shouting out that he is the ‘King of the Universe’ and the ‘Son of God’ and all that malarkey.

Jim remembers that long ago in a previous life he used to yell in the street, ‘I and the Father are one’ and other crazy junk like that. He used to reckon he was made of the same stuff as God, but no-one understood that he was trying to be inclusive when he was ranting about things like that, and deep down he just wanted folk to feel what he was feeling, overflowing with love. That’s the way he had always felt deep in his heart and all he wanted was for everyone around him to be just like one big happy family.

Jim knew what it was like when people heard him chanting his God talk in town, ‘I am the Son of God’, or ‘before the world was created ‘I AM!’ In fact he once jumped off a multi-story car park and broke both his legs because he thought he was divine and could fly… (Something about the angels saving him if he tripped and fell over, or ran in front of a line of fast moving traffic) - So he thought he’d put that theory to the test. Huge mistake! They ‘sectioned’ him after that episode, and injected him with Largactil, a nasty drug that twisted up his body and turned his face into a mask. He thought he’d learned that lesson a couple of light years ago when they whipped him in the street and nailed him to a cross. They said he had learning difficulties – ‘there’s nothing as sure as that’ he would say to himself.

So here he was, in this creepy old church full of dead men’s bones. He remembers meeting an old geezer sitting on a bench outside who told him that there were the remains of 5 000 corpses, buried over 900 years, in the graveyard. Not to mention others concealed beneath the floor and in the crypt of the church. Jim decided it was best not to start thinking about all that medieval spooky ‘woo woo’ stuff and focus instead on what’s going on at the front. But now the woman in the robes was holding up some bread and saying ‘this is my body eat it’ and then she held up a glass of wine and said ‘this is my blood, drink it’. ‘Oh my Gosh,’ he thought, ‘is this some kind of secret man-eating death cult?’ ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here!’-

But he reckoned it might be worth sticking around for the sandwiches, coffee and cakes. The old bloke had told him there would be free nosh on offer after the show finished: “It might be a good idea to put some grub in me before I get my Methadone from the night chemist and settle down in the subway for the night. You know it’s getting more and more difficult to find places to crash nowadays. They’re laying spikes and metal studs and all sorts of crap in all the best sleeping spots, and they’re even making the bus shelter benches slope downwards so you can’t lay on them. What’s that all about, and who are ‘they’ anyway? I’ve always wondered about that – Some people reckon there are Shape-shifting reptilian aliens controlling the world! “Here I go again with all that ‘spooky woo woo’ stuff - shut your face Jim,” he said to himself..

“And now there’s a band warming up on stage, and the dude at the front is shouting, ‘we don’t do boring in this house’ and they crank up a song and everyone’s singing and dancing and holding up their hands in the air for some strange reason, ‘I’m down here mate’ was what Jim was thinking, but anyway. “I didn’t know any of the songs, so I just stood there and took in the vibe. I felt a nice tingle down the back of my neck that turned into something like a waterfall flowing over me. What did they put in that wine?’ Whatever they’d spiked it with it was pretty powerful stuff. Suddenly I saw my life flash before me, all those hard knocks I’d been given as well as all the good times. All of it seemed to be working together to bring me to this point. It felt like I was on a mountain top, in a totally clear space and I was free again. No more fear, no more guilt, no more tense feeling in my shoulders and back, just the impression I was floating two foot off the ground with the sensation of pure love pulsing through my veins. In my mind’s eye I saw all my old mates and ex’s who seemed to be lost in a fog, just like I had been not a second before. They all looked so sad and it seemed as if they were looking around for something magical to happen, for some kind of miracle, something to take away all the fear and pain. And then I realised for the first time in an aeon that I was completely ‘myself’- my eternal self, my genuine soul. I no longer wanted to follow in the footsteps of my hero and trickster friends, imitating what they were doing just to fit in and be liked. Now I was just being me, just Jim. Now I know exactly what I’ve got to do for the rest of my life. I’m going to go out there and try and make the world a better place, it’s that simple. I don’t know all the details yet but I get the feeling that I’ll be able to download all that stuff as and when I need it. But I know this one thing, that whatever happens from now on, through the good times and the bad, with all the love I feel inside me, right here, right now, it’s all going to work out fine, I just know it”.

“Sh*t! Jim said to himself, does this mean that I’m a Christian now? Oh man, how the hell did that happen? Well I guess at the end of the day that’s for the experts to discuss and decide. The only thing my science teacher used to say that made any sense to me is. ‘X is an unknown quantity and spurt is a volume of liquid forced through a small aperture’. It’s not my problem Bud, so I’m not going to worry”.

“Me? - I’m Just Jim mate, fancy a cuppa?”