On Having a Heart Attack

It’s something I’ve dreaded all my life, my own father died from one when I was five, he probably would have lived had he access to the super technology that exists in the 21st century, but that was in 1957 and he didn’t stand much of a chance back then. More recently I found papers from the RAF where he had been discharged with a health condition that involved his heart so maybe it was a congenital disease. He was 33 years old and I doubted in my youth that I would live much past that age but I am now about 7 weeks away from my 60th birthday and the inevitable has finally happened - and I was surprised to discover that the whole affair wasn’t as bad as I had imagined or feared. (What do they say – ‘the fearful die a thousand deaths’) Looking back there were several signs, but I put them down to other ailments like my slightly stiff and swollen ankles I thought may be a part of the sciatica I had been suffering for the past few months. The occasion single stabbing punch I felt in my sternum from time to time was followed by a bout of burping and distended stomach that lead me to think it was some indigestion issue. And not feeling as fit as I used to this past few months that I thought could have been related to having left my job in Holland as a ‘Postboder’, (or postal worker) 18 months ago, as I was no longer walking and cycling 3 or four hours a day several times a week. It started with a few bouts of heartburn that had grown serious enough to buy some antacids on the Wednesday. On Thursday I decided a long overdue bike ride through nearby Sherwood Forest was in order, but almost immediately I experienced severe heartburn and I was cursing myself for not bring my antacids along. I abandoned my ride as I developed a puncture anyway and I was quite exhausted when I made it back. Once I’d chilled out I was able to pack ready for an early start to fly over to Frankfurt for a couple of gigs over the weekend. The heartburn continued throughout Friday and the various antacids I had resorted to didn’t seem have any effect. I had lost my appetite and my stomach continued to bloat and I only ate a little food and drink just to keep my energy levels up so I could set up, do the sound check, and get through the performance. As a regular drinker of alcohol I managed to force some whiskey down me after the gig just to get some of my daily dose and so I could sleep well which I did. It was uncomfortable to swallow but didn’t seem to make matters much worse, in fact I felt a bit better in myself overall! Saturday I awoke with the same relentless heartburn but I was learning that if I used my years of meditation practice I could put myself in a trance state that lessened the symptoms somewhat. However on the ride over to the next gig I started having a severe attack and so bad that I didn’t know where to put myself and eventually I felt so nauseous that I stopped the bus and tried to wretch several times but nothing would come up. On reaching the venue I sat for half an hour or so in trance and I was able to manage with some discomfort to do the gig that night where we actually got a standing ovation... What a trooper I am, even though I say so myself. The show must go on and all that! But the truth is I could have croaked at any time... At the end of that evening I decided that I needed to stop drinking and adopt a diet that was going to help control the heartburn maybe it would take a little time but I was sure I could get sort it out in the end. Sunday I was feeling much the same and as we flew back to England I wasn’t feeling very good at all - cold sweats, intense pain in both the chest and back etc. And after a long car, bus, and taxi drive back home I was relieved to be in my own bed but the relief didn’t last long and I awoke several times in the night and had a particularly bad attack including severe and continuous backache and more cold sweats in the early hours of Monday morning. When I got up I drank some chamomile tea and ate a little cooked rice hoping this would help the heartburn but it didn’t. I decided now that I had internet access again I would do some research. I was also still getting cold sweats and I had another unproductive vomiting session. Maybe my oesophagus had been damaged or I was suffering from some stomach infection and then at the bottom of a Heartburn webpage I saw a line ‘Heartburn can also be a symptom of a heart attack’! Following the link I was surprised to find I was rapidly ticking off all the boxes on the heart attack page and so I thought I ought to phone 999 just in case. The paramedic arrived very quickly with all his machines, and gave me aspirins and an under the tongue spray before doing an ECG. He confirmed that I had had some form of heart attack and called for an ambulance to take me to a specialist unit in Nottingham. In the ambulance I was given Morphine that made me wretch again for the third time and I was surprised when they whisked me immediately into a theatre where dyes were injected and the presence of a blocked right heart artery and a narrowed left heart artery were found and both starving the heart of blood. I was given a local anaesthetic and a tube was inserted up an artery in my right arm my and into the narrowed left artery where after some difficulty a ‘stent’ was fitted to open it out. This is a tube made of a special metal that eventually grows into the artery and keeps it open. Once completed the ‘heartburn’ I had been experiencing over the past 5 days subsided and I was instantly feeling better. Dr Nadra, (who was feckin genius by the way), showed me X ray pictures and explained what had been happening. Sometime in the past the right artery supplying the heart had become badly blocked and I had, unbeknown to me, suffered a heart attack, maybe in my sleep sometime in the distant past who knows? The left artery however was able to take over supplying blood to the blocked area of the heart and all was fine until the left artery started to narrow and that’s where the trouble gradually began. It is still to be decided if I’m going to need another op on to unblock the right artery but it’s early days yet. I had heard of the following phenomenon but never thought that the heart itself could be so cunning. Having no pain receptors of its own, the heart uses nearby pain receptors to communicate its distress, even to the point that it could even fake severe heartburn! No wonder the antacids didn’t work, there was no acid reflux there at all, just a fake sensation generated by the heart muscle. Another experience of this phenomenon came when they injected some nitrous fluid into my heart, what I felt instead was cool clear fluid slipping down both sides of my throat! Talking to a nurse later he said that each individual’s heart muscles have their own characteristic preferences for registering sensations. It can be a feeling of pressure in the chest, heartburn, stomach ache, chest pains, back ache, pain in the shoulders and down the arms, and pain in the throat and jaw. The warning signs are that this pain is consistent and cannot be relieved by pain palliative medication or by shifting position etc and you usually feel ill, suffer cold sweats, and sometimes feel dizzy, or collapse. Altogether they kept me in for 4 nights as I was suffering from heart arrhythmias and needed to remain under observation but I’m now back home and feeling much better. The arrhythmias are almost gone now and I’m feeling relieved to be back home where I can heal myself with my own magic arts as well as eat the foods and do the things I know will help to heal me. Captain Squeak, our dominant male cat came straight up to me this morning as I sat down in my chair and he placed his two front paws on my heart and proceeded to give me some serious ‘purr full’ love for quite some time.. I sobbed uncontrollably... the healing has begun! ’ By the way, I haven’t had a drink for 6 nights now and I’ve no intention of ever starting again. Finally found a good reason to stop after 25 years of drinking every night. Miracle of miracles is that both my Liver and Kidneys are in good order, though whether they still will be after all the pills I’ve got to take now is another matter! Got to take it easy now for a few weeks and gradually build up my strength...My heart muscle has been badly damaged and like any muscle it needs time and exercise to stand a chance of building up again. On the bus the other day I saw a sign saying ‘Phoenix Rise’...advertising a new housing development somewhere no doubt... All I can say is ‘Stand back friends and just watch me’!